Hi there! It's Jane here from couples skills. Today's topic is about marriage and how love seems to fade away after a while. It could be a question that many couples will ask themselves through the years, why is my marriage so lacking in love making? It doesn't have to be a lacking completely, but perhaps you only make love a few times a month. So what are some common reasons you may be facing this situation?
Here are some of the most common causes that many couples will face to why they are having less initmacy than an average normal couple.
- They simply could be on a different schedule. There are many couples who work different times than the other one. This can leave them either with little time alone, or just plain exhausted by the time they actually do get the time to spend with one another.
- Kids are a big cause. We all love kids and there is nothing wrong with having them, but they also cut down the privacy that a couple will have and the chances that are available to spend that one on one time in the bedroom.
- Lack of self-esteem. This could be either partner in the relationship. They may have gained a bit of weight or be facing some hair loss issues. The reasons are many that self-esteem could be down, but it will make them feel a lot less desirable, and not really in the mood.
- Pregnancy. Well we all know that pregnancy can mess with a woman and how she feels. Not only can that happen, but it could make her feel less attractive and again be something that will cause her self-esteem to drop.
- Illness. When one partner isn't feeling well it can put a damper on everything. Especially if it is a long-term illness they have been suffering from.
- Dysfunction. Problems with getting it up or other dysfunctions will put a quick hault on getting it on. After trying a few times a couple may be more likely to simply give up and this can lead to a non intimate marriage.
- Addiction. If one partner is addicted to things, like watching other women online, they may not be excited about their partner. Not only that but this problem may lead to excessive self pleasuring on their part.
- Other Stressors. Money or other issues in a marriage can lead to a lot of problems when it comes to intimacy in a marriage. But if you communicate it is possible to work past those stressors.
- Confusion. One partner may have a feeling that they are wanting to be with a new partner.
- Cheating. Though it often is not one of the main reasons behind a non intimate marriage, it still needs to be placed on the list, because it is a possible reason behind what is causing you and your partner to have less alone time.
While there may be many additional causes, the point of today's article was just to outline the main reasons. One of the best ways to fight to keep active is to see a therapist like liam naden and talk as a couple. Make sure that you don't give up if you love the person you are with, but work through the causes and find what is really happening in your marriage.